I appreciate the congrats! Believe it or not, I'm completely in sync with you guys. I even specifically asked W a couple of questions. I told her I wanted to make sure we had the best chance possible of R, so I wanted to make sure we were both on the same page.
1. What has happened that has caused such a sudden and dramatic shift in your thinking? (I kind of made this into a joke about her chasing me for my hot bod)
W: "Praying a lot. I had put myself in a bad situation, and I knew I needed to fix it weeks ago. I love you. I never stopped. I'm just tired of fighting the fact that I love you. You were frustrated one time and told me that I push away anything good that happens to me, and you were right. Every time I would start feeling anything good, I would push it away. Because I didn't want to be hurt anymore. I still don't want to be hurt, but I know I wasn't handling how I dealt with the hurt in the right way. Basically, I decided I'd rather risk being hurt than be alone and miserable and walk away from a chance at a great marriage. And yes, I have been very much after you, but I knew if we were going to have a chance I had to go in 100%. So I'm not going to hold back how I feel anymore."
2. It seemed like you were really struggling with the NC with OM a few days ago. Why was it so easy to do yesterday?
W: "I wasn't struggling with having NC with OM, I just didn't want to hurt his feelings. That's it. But I finally realized I knew what I had to do, so we will never speak again. And YOU are the only person I have any romantic connection to. Period. I have been thinking about you all day at work."
Something else that is sort of odd. With the BD, she deleted my entire extended family off Facebook and blocked them except for one cousin. I'm supposed to go on a cruise next fall with that extended family, and W said, "You better get me on there with you. You can't go without your wife." I told her my extended family was going, and she said, "So?" I wanted to respond, "You totally cut them off!", but I just dropped it.
Still digesting a little - it's weird to put SO much energy and passion into something, have so much emotional turmoil, then have it all just suddenly gone. The energy, passion, and emotion show how much I needed to detach, that's for sure!
