K, so sorry you're having a bad night. We all have them.
You need to find something else to focus on. Lately, if I'm having a bad evening, my son and I will look up some comedy clips on YouTube and spend some time watching and laughing. That and a glass of wine and you'll feel a different person.
It's tough, but you're tougher. Stay strong. You can do this.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
NQ there is a reason that I'm feeling this way I know that in The beginning of my situation that I did all the wrong things about The step that everyone has done. Well I had a phone call and many messages from H which is mostly coming from OW appeartly there are things still going around about my situation with H and in both of their profession its a big No no on what they are doing. Anyway OW wanted to talk to about wants going around and I told him no I will not talk to her because I haven't confide in anyway to anymore lately ( they don't know that I come here to talk to ppl). Well she had said that if do not stop opening my mouth about this whole situation she was going to file charges against me for deformation of character on her; basically she doesn't want her work place or anyone else know that they are living together because she is not divorced yet and it could cost her her job and it could also hurt her divorce battle. So they were threating me to make sure i dont talk about this whole situation. At that point I had to have my MIL to help me before I said or do the wrong thing. The only reason I had spoken MIL is cause their threat had gotten to me and I was scared. MIL had to bring me back down to earth and she told me not to worry because as long as I don't call her other names that is not appropriate she has nothing against me because the things I did say is all true that my H had left me for another women that happened to be married and her name was so and so. Which I know it wasn't The right thing to do; this was all done before I sign up with DB web site. And MIL said that OW must be drinking again and when she drinks she net picks at H for every little thing and she is very insecure about her life. And MIL said just let her file charges on me cause I will have more ppl backing me up then she does. And plud she won't win the case because everything that she is afford of is all true she and H are living together and they are by law still both married and in the state that we live in doesn't go for this behavior. All the LBS always win in the divorce cases. and they both know this and they want to keep things quite. So they are trying to scare me and once again I let it get to me. This is one of my steps I'm trying to work on. I'm working on to stop being affaid to standing up for myself. And i know that I have to do this for myself to be able to stand up against H and OW when they threating me for The truth on what's going on. Well I better stop here for mow .
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
K, venting here is the best thing you can do in the sitch. I really feel for you. You do need to do whatever you have to protect yourself and your kids. Have you gotten any legal advise?
If you want to chat off forum, some of us have set up FB accounts using some form of our forum user name with "DB" as the surname (or with DB included as part of the surname in some cases). We can send PMs to each other that way. If you want to do that, let us know on here and we can friend you that way.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
Hang in there Kelela, and do what feels right to you. Remember, many Ms are also saved after the LBS finally lets go and starts to move on. You don't have to make any decisions right now. Overall, you sound like you are doing really well. ((((hugs))))
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13
I would like that I could really need new friends. You all have been very supportive to me from day one and thanks you so much.
We'd love to have you join us on FB. You need an email account that you don't already have a FB account linked to - if you need to set up a new Hotmail or Gmail account for the purpose. You may have to play around with the name to get one to work - I'd start by trying to set it up as Kelela Db. I had to try several combinations before I found one that FB would accept. Once you're set up, post your FB user name on here and we'll find you.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
OK I'll have to wait till I can use my MIL computer cause I can't some how create a new account on my phone. As soon as I can I'll let you all know when I have it set up
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
One thing that has helped me in the past was to not try to look ahead too far.
If you can't imagine making it a week, can you make it a day? If you can't face the day, can you deal with an hour? If an hour seems impossible, can you make it through just one minute?
The other thing was my DB coach made me promise not to make any major decisions while I was feeling down.
Sometimes it best to coast along for a bit until things are clearer. That's not the same as giving up.
OK thank you milehigh. I just need to learn to move on and worry about myself and that is my goal for this month. I'll let you know how my progress is going
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
