Rolling up my sleeves...

[Pudmuddle]

Pud, I gotta say...

When I first read this, I felt that little urge to fire back something off the hip...

I felt that little burn, and when that happens ?

I gotta know why before I say anything, or act....

It stung because "I" didn't fully understand your point, and it stung because I wasn't trying to understand your point of view.

So thank you for slowing that down for me...

I DO understand what you are saying.

And I don't feel as if we are that far apart in this.

My point is, that the boundary DID need to be set if it is bothering him. It is the WAY that he set the boundary that bothered me...

One sounds controlling, one protects himself.

Mach, thanks for trying to understand what I was saying, I really appreciate the thought you put into this. And I wasn't really looking at the way he said it, more that it was important that he did set that boundary. I also completely understand where you are coming from now. I am still learning myself how to say things in a manner that isn't controlling.

I also have often felt like my H was 'controlling' me by the things he said in the past. I would think it was my guilt that let me feel that way, not that he was controlling me in reality. <--Still working on this!

I agree that we are in the same arena, maybe not on the same horse. You are the bomb Mach! (A good kind of bomb that is)