J, I think you didnt feel comfortable with the way you set the boundary. And you admitted you did it out of anger.
So, now you know for next time, right?
Lois, you can validate if they are telling you they are hurting. But you shouldnt assume that they are. You are making all kinds of assumptions by saying all that. And can come off sounding condescending.
And they have told you that they dont want to be in the marriage right now. They need to know that you heard that. You dont have to like it, but, you have to honor their feelings, ya know?
They know how you feel, trust me on that.
The thing with a boundary is when you set it, it is not to control their actions but to protect you. There is a difference.
The way that Mach worded it treats her as an adult, with respect.
