Fog City Coaster continues

[2ndtimearoundCA]

So I am going to journal about the roller coaster of emotions that I am feeling right now.. Mostly so I come back here read about what I am going thru and hopefully that will help me out in the future... So listen up future me

I sent the text above yesterday afternoon and have not received a response yet. If I get a response, it typically comes within 24 hours. Based on past interactions it is not necessarily something to get worked up about. Unanswered texts pass and then a few days later w will contact me about something unrelated.

Based on the amount of contact I have had with w throughout our separation, nothing is really that unusual right now. But for some reason it feels different. I can't really put my finger on in and I don't even know if it is just where I am at. Tough work schedule has made life otherwise difficult.

My gut says that w is pulling away (we have been in more frequent contact recently), and that there is something going on with her that is different from 3 or 4 weeks ago. Maybe she made a decision that we shouldnt be hanging out; maybe she found someone else; maybe she is happy now without me; maybe she is sad and needs me to figure out what to do because she can't communicate it to me... I can hear Labug right now telling me that is her journey and I can't fix her.

I am struggling because the general advice if she is pulling away is to give space. And of course I should work on me. But then I go back to 25s post .... My interpretation is that I never pursued and maybe that is what I need to do... Be there for my w and try to take care of her. W said that is what she wants from "someone"