Where am I at?

[Icecoldw]

It just breaks my heart to have to watch my w go through this, I've done a lot of research on MLC, I understand a lot of it but it doesn't make it any easier. I had to watch my mom be the lbs in highschool and could not stand my dad for putting her through it. My mom was a stander until dad got remarried then she got on with her life. Dads second marriage ended in divorce.
I'm going to have a selfish moment here, if I could just see the outcome and know that I will be rewarded and my feelings validated I think it would make this transition spittle easier. I'm starting to wonder if my w is right, maybe I should go ligand find someone else. We talked about this when
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it first started, I told her back then that with time that I could bethe man she needed me to be and because she inspirede to become a betten shouldn't she want to be the one to reap the benefits. Maybe she knows she has done some things that she thinks I would not approve of and that is why she wants me to find someone else because she feels she doesyn't deserve me. Is this where I dig deep down inside put m male ego and pride away and learn how to forgive someone that has betrayed me and learn how to love unconditionaly. I sometimes wonder if my w really knows what love is orhow to be loved