Went to talk with my pastor last night, he is good friends with her mom and step dad. He didn't tell me any thing that they said, but he did say there may be a glimpse of hope and a hypothetical about leaving and regret that maybe some one is starting to reflect.
I think this is a really important piece to pluck out for a moment, but I'm going to turn it back around on you. You have got to live your life in such a way that you won't have regrets...in a way that allows you to lay your head down at night and be at peace with yourself. I'm not telling you what to do regarding your M and your W, I'm just saying to really examine your decision-making to ensure you aren't making decisions out of emotion and reaction, but they are truly the options you feel are right.
You are probably feeling such an onslaught of emotions that it's difficult to even put into words what you're going through. You have every right to feel angry and betrayed and and disrespected, I just caution you about making decisions while in those states of mind. You don't want to end up saying something you regret that affects the rest of your life. And that's a hard thing to be able to do in the moment, so you the best approach is to prepare yourself for it.
This isn't easy, and it isn't going to get much easier for a while, but you're on the right path and asking the right questions.
I'm not "officially recommending" this - it's just a mental exercise I utilized that worked at various points for me - but I would, at times, visualize myself in the setting as though I was watching myself on TV...detaching from myself, if I may put it that way. I don't know if I can concisely explain it very well, if at all, but it's like stepping back from myself a level...like being a step removed from my environment. That allowed me not have an emotional response to whatever was going on...I could just observe and take in all the information without the emotions of my mind twisting things before they got to my brain for processing. It felt like it helped me learn how gain back control of my feelings, and it also helped me validate her better since I wasn't so easily offended.
All the best,
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
