First, congratulations on your progress! Your wife's declaration and demonstration of commitment is a great first step. Now you can begin the repair process.
I'm going to speculate, based on your posts, that the affair fell apart on its own. Most don't last more that a couple months to a couple of years, then the fantasy wears off and they see exactly who they're having an affair with. The OP probably became more trouble than he was worth, and boom! Over. Fortunately, you had done a great job in keeping yourself attractive to her, someone who could meet her needs and have a good marriage with her. So, when she popped out of the A she wanted you back!
She seems so "gung ho" that I would be careful in case she wants to come back as if nothing has happened. while I wouldn't dwell on the A at all, you should talk about what kind of marriage you want together, what your emotional needs are, and what precautions to put in place to prevent a future repeat of what you went through. IMO, one of the precautions would be NC with OWs sister, but you'll have to decide that together.
Realize also that as time moves forward, you may adopt more of a WAS position yourself as things start to hit you. It's hard to move close to someone and feel deep love with your guard up. You'll have to gain trust as she demonstrates resolve in protecting your marriage and feelings. Time will heal you if you are committed!
If I look back at how my M was before BD and how it is now after we reconciled, it's both the same and very different. We are no longer a child-centric couple, even though we have four. We take time for each other every day. She now greets me first when she comes home, and I her. We cuddle on the couch each night, and spoon in bed every night now- before we never did (unless I was trying to get lucky). I write her love notes - not just a card on our anniversary or her birthday. I work hard to let her know daily in all sorts of little ways that I care for and admire her. What I'm getting at is that you cannot return to your old marriage- EVER. It won't work. Make it better than it was. Appreciate what you have, because you almost lost it once before.....
