golf mom, You are doing great. It's simply amazing what you can discover all on your own. It appears that while you've been sitting quietly, many things have dropped into your lap. Their "secrets" only last a short time and then they tell on themselves in many ways.
I hope you can get your financials, etc., resolved and very soon. Buying a house? Now, that's a can of worms when he's not been very forthcoming w/you. Can't wait to hear how he explains this one away.
Stay strong and positive.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
