It's so good to hear from all of you! Thank you so much for your replies.
It's amazing what people on the outside can see. While I still had on the rose colored glasses and was convinced that ex was worth standing for he was fast at work hiding assets, blowing community funds on creating/enjoying his new life with OW, etc. During that time I bought into all the lies he told me regarding why he "had to leave" and, for a time, believed that it was all my fault. The truth is my ex was so buried in lies and I was starting to ask a lot of questions.
To anyone who just had a recent bomb drop or is in the middle of their spouses crisis, keep all written communication exchanged between you and make dated notes regarding other contact. It may seem insignificant at the time, but the pieces will start to fit together. I believe it was Job who wrote that MLCers tell on themselves. How true! My ex has made my entire case for fraud, breach of responsibility, etc. just by spewing at me. He also doesn't cover his tracks when he tries to conceal things. An example, I received an email from a store confirming a large purchase and delivery to a new address. I went right down to the county recorder's office and found out that he had bought a house, maybe with community funds. The way title is held is sketchy. Under the law he had to disclose that purchase immediately and has to make all of the papers regarding it available for my review.
The above is just one example of what I've pieced together, on my own, which is why I want to stress the importance of being well versed in your local family law codes. Neither of my attorneys has explained any of my rights or on-going responsibilities.
I've opened a can of worms and I am headed down a very challenging path, but I need to see this through for myself and my boys.
