I suggested to W that when it becomes bedtime the I thought it would be great if we protected that time for our own personal communication and our own sleep. I admitted that I had done the same thing at times (not really). I said that I felt like either one of us communicating with someone else for an extended period of time in our bed beside of the other one was rude.
She of course said that she was texting BFF late because BFF didn't have to work this morning. W asked me if it was bothering me and not letting me sleep. I reiterated that I would like for our bedroom and bedtime to be reserved for our own communication and sleep regardless of who is on the other end of the phone. I suggested that when it becomes time for us to settle in, that we both put phones away and take that time for what it is supposed to be.
W asked again if it was bothering me and not letting me sleep. Then asked me if she was supposed to go into another room to text when I came to bed. I could feel the rage building in me, so I removed myself from the room as she giggled about whatever was on her phone. I returned after a few minutes and simply said "Yes."
W-"You want me to leave the room to text her?"
JF-"I understand that texting/messaging/FBing is very important to you, but I believe our bedroom at bedtime is an inappropriate place for it."
W-"If you wanted me to leave the room, then why did you leave a minute ago?"
JF-"I did not want to fight with you."
W-"I guess I'll just leave the room."
JF-"Thank you for respecting that."
W went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth and came right back to bed and stopped texting immediately.
I resisted the urge to make her admit that she had been texting OM right beside me and how rude, irrational, and disrespectful that was. I simply made it about protecting bedtime and our MBR. I was able to avoid OM talk and avoid confrontation in general.
Of course, there was no smiley "Goodbye" this morning.
If nothing else, last night she cut the dang light off, put the phone away, and I got some sleep. We will see how this works out.
Both 40 T-22 M-18 S13 S11
Bomb, ILYBINILWY-7/10/13 EA #1-confirmed 7/10/13, ongoing since 5/13 EA #2-9/13/13
