Ambivalent, I'm glad to see that you are venting here and getting it all out. You will feel a bit better once all of that anger has been spent.
Nothing says you have to be Ms. Suzy Sunshine all of the time. If you don't feel up to seeing him, just leave the keys w/a simple note.
Do what is right for you at the moment. Take care of yourself. I'm very concerned about you.
BTW, please think about starting a new thread, i.e., you exceeded the 100 posting mark and this thread may be locked very soon.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
