come on legs keep moving and dont lose no ground..

[tigerlily78]

I found the last couple pages of this thread really insightful. Thank you for your thoughts.

I have been reading a lot in the past couple weeks and had made the connection between MLC and addiction. In my WS's case is seems like it is infatuation/addiction to the OW, but he is also doing a lot of "buying crap to fill a void" under the guise of self-improvement and becoming his new "better" self.

If the buying stuff is also a direct response to stress, then this gives me yet another strong motivation to keep up my detachment and "As if" attitude. If I break down and create a stressful confrontation, I know know very consciously what the result will be. Either prolonged periods of him leaving the home and making no contact, and/or that he will soothe his ego with another purchase.

It helps enormously to be able to see these patterns of cause and effect so clearly and logically. Thank you!

[uRworthy]

Hey H2, thank you so much for your kind words.

You will get through it and come out the other side stronger, wiser and the person you were meant to be.

Believe it. I do.

[JFun51]

Interesting thoughts on addiction. I am beginning to understand this in W's actions. She is finding all sorts of things to fill her time and avoid the stress of whats going on. From FB/texting to $$$ for her new wardrobe, its anything to avoid living real life. She has so many new clothes for her new body and life, that they just lay out in our bedroom, because there's nowhere for them to be put away. She has made the comment a couple of times that she doesn't know why she is doing some of the things she is doing. Even admitting that she knows its wrong, yet she continues to do them. Its like an alcoholic that has been through an intervention then just finds better way to hide the booze. So much impulsive, irrational behavior. MLC is a trip.

[uRworthy]

MLC is a trip.

You said a mouthful right there, J. ^^^^

[uRworthy]

Some stuff I have learned:

I am strong. I am worthy. I am enough.
The only thing in this world I can control is me.
To listen well is a gift to others.
Be present in the lives of those I care about.
Act with dignity, strength, grace, and honor.
I have the power to change.
Loving oneself fully and honestly allows you to love others the same way.
I hate the word cant.
In order to feel the highs, you have to have some lows.
The most worthwhile things in the world cost nothing.
Cry with abandon, laugh with it, too.
There is always hope.
I like me.
Helping someone starts a chain reaction.
Pay it forward.
Do the right thing.
Trust in Him.
All things are possible.
Loving someone when they are at their worst is what it is about.
We teach others how to treat us.
Sometimes you get do overs. Take them.
Act with a kid’s heart.
The people in your life matter. So do you.
Find joy in every day.
Without struggle there is no strength.

[uRworthy]

My friends, I have been struggling with some stuff lately.

I have been feeling that I am not helping much on here.

And as this place is important to me, I needed to figure out why I was feeling this way.

I have spoken about how this forum has changed. It used to be a place where things were said out loud with honesty and without fear.

Ideas were shared, 2 x 4s were thrown, things were hashed out, debates happened and also there was a great deal of fun, too.

There is still a lot of that. But, there is also the fear of saying something that may hurt someone's feelings. And so, there is a pulling back of things that need to be said.

I am not at all advocating that people's feelings shouldnt be taken into account because they absolutely should be.

But this is too important. The people on here are too important for there not to some truthful, real stuff being written.

When I was stuck, my friends got me unstuck. Sometimes in a way that was really hard. I got hit over the head so many times I saw stars. And I thank God for it.

I wouldnt have wanted it any other way.

I wouldnt have made it through without the help of some very special people who wouldnt give up on me. People who challenged me and smacked my hand and pushed me forward.

So, I got to thinking about how I was feeling lately regrding posting here.

I am gentle when I post. I like that I am. But a friend brought it to my attention that maybe that is seen at times as me feeling you should be sitting still and waiting and not doing the work.

He toldl me that I dont always let you see me.

That struck a cord. So, I had to look at it. I am someone who is a people pleaser.

But that doesnt always serve you or me well.

So, I apologize if I have not always said what needed saying.

Because the truth in all this is that this $hit is hard. And looking inside and doing the work is hard. And sometimes you just have to suck it up. Sometimes you have to say f it.

Sometimes you have to get hit with a 2 x 4 in order to move forward.

But know this. I care a great deal about you all. I care what happens. And I promise to be brutally honest when I need to be.

I want you to see me. That is important. Not just the gentle me, but the kick as$ me, too.

[sayitaintso]

I want to see more of the kick a$$ Mrs. Worthy

[uRworthy]

Hiya SIAS, how are you? Yea, be careful what you wish for. LOL!

[LoisB]

Feel free to call it like u see it. I wont take it pesonally.

Promise :-)
Heather

[Truegritter]

I am going to find that post in my thread when you hit me between the eyes and it moved me forward.

Be right back...