I swear on a stack of bibles that your sitch reminds me so much of my own way back when. It's eerie.
The only thing I can say is if you can have a friendship with him that suits you both AND helps your kids bridge that chasm between having an intact home and a separated one, well.... Go you! Look, I don't have a crystal ball or anything, but no matter what the outcome will be, it's worthwhile.
My D was final in 2005. Eight years later we forged a friendship that we both enjoy. In the beginning, we went through the motions for the girls. Now that D19 has flown the coop, well, surprise! We're still friends. He came over after he flew in from DC last night, poured a glass of wine and sat down and got caught up with me after 10 days of being in your neck of the woods. And guess what? We're not ever getting back together and I like our life this way. He makes an effort to treat me with respect, and I try to do the same for him. If I had to get a divorce, I wouldn't trade what we have for anything. And the person who is the most grateful is D19.
So really. Go you! Every thing you do, your sons are paying attention. You are their role model in how to treat their dad.... The person who hurt you. The same person who committed to you and them. And they're paying very close attention. The good news? You're frigging awesome! You're acing the test and you might not know that yet. But you are.
I am awarding you the blue ribbon of the week. Cause you deserve it.
Back to the wine, already in progress!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
