I found out about 12 weeks ago my wife was having an affair, EA & PA. At first I was shocked, devastated, thought it was all my fault. And did everything I thought I should, but later after researching sites like this one, I realized I made some big mistakes. I got angry, threatened to leave, divorce, pressured her to make up her mind, etc. It got so bad, she ended up leaving for one week to think things over. When she got back, she said she doesn't think we can work things out. I am reasonably sure the affair is still going on. The other guy is married and has two children 8 & 12. I contacted his wife to let her know what was going on. She plans on divorcing because she said her marriage was bad for the last 3 years. My wife said she needs more time to think. I said only if she stops the affair, NC. She hasn't done that. So I filed for divorce. She was served on Halloween. Since then I have totally backed off. She has said nothing and hasn't even acknowledged getting served.
I'm not sure what to do. I can't stand being in this situation. But I prefer to try and work things out with my wife. But I see effort from her. And now I wonder if I still want to be with her. Married 12 years, three kids 11, 9, 8.
