K, so sorry you're having a bad night. We all have them.
You need to find something else to focus on. Lately, if I'm having a bad evening, my son and I will look up some comedy clips on YouTube and spend some time watching and laughing. That and a glass of wine and you'll feel a different person.
It's tough, but you're tougher. Stay strong. You can do this.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks