Hanging on to the roller coaster

[CallaghanClown]

Today was mainly filled with anxiety. Waiting for him to visit the children. I escaped for a visit to my therapist, which helped a lot. But returned home to more delusions from H. Sadly he thinks he's cured, no longer depressed and feeling better. He says this may be just how he is feeling today but believes that he's much better. However he says he's going to take his meds and get some counselling. I praised him for this because I'm genuinely happy to hear it. I also praised him for talking more, it lovely to hear as he's spent years battling things up.

He stayed to chat for 2 hours. A lot of it was lies that I know about but some was new stuff, new lies, new truths and new ramblings. But getting him talking is a good sign.

His lies didn't sting so much tonight. I hope they don't in the morning! I did spend am awful long time just looking at him, wondering if I had any feelings for him beyond pity/sympathy/worry/despair. I really hope there is some love left at the end of this.

He did say he "used to be married" to which I replied "you still are married". I was tempted to have a D chat, but left it alone. I did mention I'd heard he was dating, which he strenuously denied several times. I guess he doesn't count failed attempts!!