Second MLC?? Is that possible?

[2Times2Many]

I'm certain his journey was interrupted. I'm not quite sure what it was that pulled him out, except that he turned around right after I packed a suitcase and left the house for several days.

I think I knew inside somewhere that he hadn't reached the end - there weren't any outward signs that he has accepted himself for who is.

His "heart attack" (which I truly believe was a panic attack based on the doctor's inability to find any signs of a heart attack) triggered him back into crisis. So, now he's living it up while he can. The sad thing is he's doing a great deal of harm to himself health-wise.

I also know that he is a very "proud" individual and likes to feel like he's successful in his own right. I think that he is angry with me because he knows how much I am needed for his business to continue to succeed. Maybe that affects his feelings of self-worth. IDK. He used to say we made a "good team." I haven't heard that statement in quite some time.

The thing I find most interesting is that he has sought his father's respect for his (H's) accomplishments and - finally - his Dad told H how proud he was of what H had done with the company. Then H goes off to crazy land.

What scares me is that I have reached a point that I don't know how I feel about him anymore. Sometimes I feel love, but mostly I feel either pity or I'm just plain numb.

Today, I just can't get over the vile images and words he texted and emailed this morning. I knew he could be quite nasty, but that stuff is the worst he has ever done to me. It just reeks of pure hatred.