NQ, OMG Christmas Day right after BD? I can't even imagine. I am seriously so impressed, reading through the threads on this board, with how strong my fellow DBers are! I have to say, none of this is for the faint of heart. I guess one upside to all of this is that I have found that I am stronger than I thought I was.
3bm, thank you for this: I have come to realize that I am not letting him off the hook. I am actually giving myself permission to not let H's actions define me and allowing myself to move forward. Hanging on the anger and resentment will not change your H and will only cause you to be more and more miserable.
That's a great way to look at things. I have been trying to remember that I have no choice but to go through this mess, and DBing, to me, is the way that I can feel most proud of at the end, no matter what. It's like I tell my kids - if you have to do something, you might as well do it gracefully instead of throwing a fit. I just wonder why is it human nature to throw a fit??
KenF - yes. You are so right. I need to stop trying to figure H out. I keep telling myself that - I have no idea what he is thinking, and there is no point trying to figure it out. I will likely only get it wrong. But, it's hard not to. You are right, I need to think about something else. Something positive. I should probably write a list to refer to - having concrete things in front of me helps in those moments where I feel just completely upside down.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
