PATIENCE PROMISCUITY AND PROFIDIOUSNESS

[RosaLinda]

Hi Amba, yes, my H and I are a bit old for a mid life crisis, huh? Unless he plans on living to 120

He has lived in our home the whole time. I found out about his affairs by snooping. It was a strange story, but I guess all MLCers stories are odd.

My H is of Lithuanian descent. He's been sick since 2008 and unable to work, and decided to take up the hobby of learning Russian so his dad and he could go visit Lithuania, and joined this email pen-pal service called the Language Exchange, which hooks up people who want to learn each other's language. He got lots of Russian friends. Two of them even came to NY to visit us, and were lovely.

One woman became his best friend, as they were both laid up after surgery, him after badly breaking his leg and being on bedrest for 6 months, and her after having colon cancer. He had a lot of friends, but this woman and he became really close, and talked on skype every day. She was my friend too, a lovely married woman a couple of years older than us.

First H's dad died, and then his best friend died in Aug 2009, and by the next month, he started talking to one of his other Russian friends, a widow (who was also a friend of mine) every day, and started acting cold and nasty and dissatisfied with every thing I did. He gave me the old "I love but..." speech in Jan 2010, but swore that there was nothing between this woman and him. So...I did what any pre-DB wife would do, and read (and printed out) all of his emails between him and this woman. It turned out they were having a torrid online sexual affair, which started less than 2 weeks after his friend died. She and I had been friendly, but he told her that I was a cheating liar, and had cheated on him our entire married life

I confronted him about it, and he told me that it is not what I thought, not what it looked like. That she did not mean anything to him, etc etc. But they kept up this skype sex for 2 years, until Sept 2011. What happened then was his EA sent him a message meant for another man while they were skyping I do not understand to this day why he thought that she should be faithful to him while he was living at home with his wife. He broke it off with her, and we resumed our marital relationship.

But for the next year, H had EA after EA, multiple short ones, sometimes a couple at a time. He told all of them the same lie about me having affairs, and told each one he was in love with her. I guess women in Russia are desperate to escape from there, because they all fell for his line and made plans to become the next Mrs. RosaLinda. But he dropped each one in a month or two. Now I think he was enjoying that limerance, new love, infatuation thing with them.

Last summer he met the Russian Tramp, and she became one of his pen pals. He told me in August that he was not going to talk to her any more, she was very aggressive and wanted him to divorce me and marry her. Or alternately find a man she could pay to marry her so she could get a green card. H amazingly turned back into my old beloved H, and I swear that he loved me. Then RT came back into his life this past January. He told me that she had contacted him and said that she missed him, and that he was going to start skyping with her again.

Well RT went back to Plan A, H divorcing me, and they resumed their EA. She came to NY to meet him for 2 weeks in March. I invited her to our home, as did his mom, but she refused. He told me that she was going to stay in the NY City, and that they would go on day trips together, but he changed his mind and drove her all over the east coast, down to Washington DC, and up to Niagara Falls, and points in between. She went back home to Moscow on St. Patrick's Day. He swore nothing had happened between them sexually, and I sort of believed him.

He acted like my normal MLC H, half loving and half cold, until April 12th, when an email from him to her somehow magically appeared on my phone, saying how he missed her soft kisses and beautiful body. So I hit the roof and confronted him again. He told he he thinks he is in love with her, not sure, she is pressuring him to leave me, he does not know what he wants to do and asked me to give him time. The choices were to live together as friends or divorce and marry her. But he said he realized if he did that, she in turn would divorce him when she got a green card. But he might do it, because he did not want to hurt her. Typical confused MLC thinking.

She started really pressuring H to divorce me. He went over to stay in Moscow with her for a month of fun and frolic in Sept, and then gave me BD # 3, all the same bull crap again. H told me that RT had given him a deadline to inform me that he is divorcing me, he had until the day he came back home, Oct. 2nd. He finally told me about this on Oct 15th. He said he still does not know what to do, he loves me, and wants her.

So we are in limbo still. I'm waiting it out. He cannot get her a green card even if they do marry because the INS requires someone to earn the poverty limit, which is $19,500, before they will give an alien spouse a green card. I told her that last week when we had that screaming fight (I screamed, she smirked) on skype, but she has not dropped him yet, so I guess he smoothed her over with a bunch of lies. As usual.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it I'm sorry for inflicting all that on you. I guess a simple yes, he still lives here, I learned about the As by snooping would have been sufficient. Sorry.