PATIENCE PROMISCUITY AND PROFIDIOUSNESS

[job]

Ambivalent,
I agree, i.e., no major decision making while you are fragile and spinning. However, you need to think about yourself right now. You need to take care of Ambivalent and get back on your feet. You are number one and the most important person right now. If you don't take care of yourself, who will?

You can't put the relationship first this time. Why? Because you need to heal yourself before even thinking about trying to heal the marriage. If something should transpire and a divorce comes into play, your daughters are old enough to find a way to work through it. It may not be pretty, but there's no way that you will be able to shield them from it. They both may need some counseling in order to find a way to bridge the gap w/their father, but that will be up to them to work out w/him.

If and when you are up to it, I strongly urge you to read some of the other threads so that you can become familiar w/the other posters and their situations. Also, the archives have a lot of great information there.

It's important that your counselor work w/you on your issues and deal w/the marriage portion later on. You first need to find a way to balance yourself and get a good footing once again.

I posted quite a bit on one of makingmagic's threads about detaching. If you would like that information, I'll try to track it down and give you the link to it. Detaching isn't easy and it takes a while to get the hang of it. Detaching is for you so that you can learn how not to react to their crazy making behavior, but yet, keep your sanity in the process.

Take it one minute at a time, one day at a time. Make a list of those items that you need to do and only do those that are extremely important, such as studying and preparing for your test, etc. As you accomplish those tasks, check them off. It's better to do the list in bits and pieces.