This past couple weeks has had me feeling a lot of forgiveness and understanding. At times, I still struggle with anger and the feeling of abandonment, but as the days go by, those feelings are becoming less and less of an issue and the happy thoughts are becoming more prominent. W and I have been co-parenting and staying very civil, to the best of our ability. We still have zero personal communication, other than in regards to daughter. Even that is pretty minimal. I believe she still struggles a great deal with anger, resentment or something, but like everyone says, that is her journey, not mine. I try my hardest not to let her influence my days.
The divorce proceedings are in full swing. It has not been verbalized between us, but it is pretty apparent (from cues through my lawyer) that a custody battle will ensue. I am not looking forward to that in the slightest. However, W is getting ready to move once again, still with the same boyfriend, but to a different house. This will be her 3rd residence in less than a year, not counting the family home. My fear is that W will continue to relocate over and over. I have been in the same location, literally on the same street, for the last 35 years. I went to the same schools, rode the same school bus, had the same friends and I knew where my home was going to be tomorrow. I want that stability for my daughter. Therefore, I am going to fight tooth and nail for primary household. I still wish to have a 50/50 parenting plan, because I feel that is the fairest agreement to an otherwise horrible situation. I am just keeping my head up, GALing, and staying focused on the good things in my life. It continues to be a stressful time for me, but I am hopeful for the future.
