TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Well, It's Thursday ... and XH has emailed again to ask what time he can come by to get us for dinner tonight.
He called D17 last night to ask, again, if dinner was still on, and also asked me on Tuesday when he called in to drop off food for lunch. It seems to be on his mind.
Of interest to me was the wording of his email.
I remember so well what Alisuddenly used to say about pronoun use (or lack thereof) in the emails she got from her mlc-er.
So, Dinner tonight was pretty much a replay of last week. He took us to an out-of-the-way pub in a down-market suburb, then on to a gelati shop for dessert. All convivial, with the exception that S15 started off the evening in a huge funk - he simply doesn't want to go out with H.
One interesting aspect - on the way there, XH drove us through a series of suburban backstreets, circuitously winding around and around. At one point I commented "this area is ripe for redevelopment", and as I looked up at the street sign, I realised it was the very street that he had moved into when he left our family home (the street of his mate's house). I was momentarily stunned.
XH snorted at this, and said "Yes, It's XX street, suburb Y. Where I lived for a year."
So, he'd driven us down the very street (tiny suburban backstreet) that he'd been living in immediately after BD (not for a year.. but for a couple of weeks maybe, before he moved in completely with OW).
But did not let him in. Basically, she has moved on.
Next morning her kids begged her not to let him come back.
Can you believe how scripted this process is?????
I've said it before, but if LBS's had more patience I suspect most would eventually reconcile with their WAS. The issue is LBS's expect things to resolve in weeks or months, but it often takes years, especially if the WAS is an MLCer. Granted, I'm not sure any philandering WAS is so awesome that they're worth waiting 5 years for.
Five years. It's just incredible. I had a co-worker whose husband went through an MLC. They were divorced for 15 years or so. She was happily remarried for over 5 years, I do believe. She told me that about a year or two ago her husband started acting "differently" towards her. All of a sudden he wanted to be included in everything and at the grandkids' birthday parties he would put his arm around her. He eventually told her leaving her was the worst decision of his life. But it was too late. She was happily remarried to her second husband.
I guess the moral of the story is "be careful what you wish for cuz you just might get it".
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Granted, I'm not sure any philandering WAS is so awesome that they're worth waiting 5 years for.
The sad thing about that statement is in 5 years I would be so detached from H I wouldn't have the time or concern to tell him all the things I would love to tell him now. Maybe I should record it so I can play it for him should that day ever come? LOL!
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Hi Labug, Sorry that was snobbish and thoughtless of me.
It's an area that's heavily industrialised (a huge gas works, engineering works, factories) and notoriously is the site of a bikie gang (mongols) headquarters. As a result, the housing that is there has a lower market value. Not somewhere we would ever have gone, or taken our kids, to eat.
I got story about a LBS that stood for her marriage for 8 years. A Friend of the family.
The WAS abandoned his family to start a new life with his OW. I think he did visit occasionally. The LBS never gave up on her H and kept on referring him as H. To us, it's pretty odd.
However, It ended up pretty bad between WAS and OW. He came back to church one day and confessed his 'sins'. He regretted leaving his family years ago.
I don't know the reasons he left but he's enjoying life with LBS and are grandparents today.
Imagine that. 8 years! Kinda blows you away.
M35 XW34 D5 D4 M 6years T 10years Bomb 5/2013 Joint Petition signed 6/2013 Moved out end of 8/2013 Court Hearing of Joint Petition 9/2013 D finalized in 3 months - no news yet
