SO I hope I am getting this right I just keep adding to my original thread following after people post comments.. Is that right?
So H was away last weekend with OW, they both had friends to visit in the same town. I find it hard that he shares this information, sort of making it normal. We have only had contact through texts this week and not very many at that.he wanted to Skype Monday but i wasn't available. I have not emailed or telephoned nor has he. Until 4 weeks ago we spoke twice each day.
I had a coaching session on Monday and I think it really helped.Also reading and printing 37 steps and rereading makes me feel like I will handle things better than I have the last few times he has been here. The advice was avoid relationship talk, encourage delay about any permanent solutions, escape from any possible conflicts and have the goal that it went as well as it could.
I am unsure what this weekend will bring. He said he needed space and time to live for himself but I have no idea how that would look or how he thinks that will look. He said the he cares but doesn't want to be married any more, he has lost trust in me. He was not clear why he lost trust and I think I should just accept the feeling and not try to figure out the why. He said the relationship with the OW was a coincidence.
I have been reading about validating his feelings about the marriage. I understand not to argue with his feelings and the memory he has of events but to validate the feelings he has about them.
I think I have that part right, or do I?
My concern is the sadness that I see, he is either angry or empty/sad. It is an emotion I have not seen him display before. Do I ask him how he is feeling, do I reflect that he seems really down does he want to talk about it. Do I pretend I don't see it?
I plan to do the majority of the listening and if there is silence then I will not fill it- as is my wont!
