PATIENCE PROMISCUITY AND PROFIDIOUSNESS

[cat04]

Your ego is very much the point. To say ego is a "man thing" is a sterotype and simply not true.

Stereo types are just that for a reason, it tends to hold some truth.

While a stereotype MAY tend to hold some truth, I believe it is a way for us to allow ourselves to hold onto ideas about people based solely on the sterotype instead of requiring ourselves to look at people as individuals.

When you remove the stereotypical thinking, you have to view the person. As they actually are.

And just like each and every MLC is unique, so is each and every person on this earth and they should be treated as such.

You also appear to have some control issues going on here.

Not every one feels the need to sugar coat their words.

Perhaps, however I'm sharing what helps me. I'm also sharing that I would like a bit more respect. I don't find what he wrote, at the end respectful. One can show compassion, respect and still prompt some self introspection.

There is nothing wrong with sharing what you need. If you want more respect, share that.

It becomes controlling when you attempt to dictate to someone how they should attempt to communicate that to you, unless they request that information.

What have you done, besides simply watch and wait for your H to come back home, to change your situation?

What have you done to step out of the victim mindset that you seem to have?

Wow, THOSE are two HUGE assumptions!

At this point I'm not going to defend myself, for I have written quite a bit on this board. Before you assume anything about my behavior, or thinking that there is a lack there of, perhaps a bit of reading on my situation may be of some use.

Something that you do not know about me is that I read every thread that someone writes before I ever post to them. I do not believe it is helpful to any situation to simply jump in and post. Just ask Pudmuddle, I have been back to her initial time here.

I do not make any assumptions without stating that I am assuming something.

I read your threads. I have watched you vacillate almost weekly since you have been here. I have seen you repeat the same sorts of information time and again.

About his prostitute use, about how often he calls or doesn’t. About the closet renovation. About your weight loss, empty nest syndrome, how needy your D’s are, how much you gave and gave up for your girls and your marriage…

Very few times have I actually seen introspection about things that you have done, that you can change, that you want to improve on for yourself…

I can go pull quotes to give you examples if you feel they would be helpful for you to see your cycle.

There is a difference between sugar coating and writing hurtful things. Many times things can come across very harsh at the wrong time. Prefacing goes a long way, and when someone is venting or in deep pain, being hit with a bat is not the best approach.

While it may not always be the best approach to be blunt, sometimes it snaps a person out of the spinning they are doing, even if it is momentary…

And sometimes that is necessary.

I don't want to bash you, however, [color:#FF0000]I can see some very glaring things that will stand in your way of every reconciling this relationship in a healthy way.

Wow! That comes across as I don't want to bash you BUT I'm going to bash you.

Followed by a very cryptic remark.

Wow, I have never been called cryptic before. Thank you.

I preface with “I don’t want to bash you” when I am aware that something I am saying could be interperated as not so nice.

It is an observation. My perception of what you portray here on the boards. If you are interested in what the glaring things are, I would hope that you would ask and then the brainstorming, etc that you say you would like can begin.

I am sorry you view that comment as a character assassination. For me it was a very general comment.

To me, a character assassination would consist of me telling you that I think you are a misguided person who wants to martyr herself. Or something along those lines. (I do not think that BTW).

I could say...have you always been so cryptic, and judgmental?

As I already stated, I have never been called cryptic and I do appreciate it.

As far as judgemental, while I don’t feel that I said anything that was judgemental, I am sorry if that is what you came away feeling.

I'm in turmoil right now, it is very fresh , and I've been fighting for my self-esteem, my marriage, my sanity, and yes working on myself e v e r y s i n g l e day.

I understand that finding the receipt was recent and the pain of that was fresh. I am sorry that you had to see that.

I do have to say that I agree with Mr. Bond though. The things that you said were AFTER the moment.

You spin on a regular basis. UR told you it will end when YOU choose for the spinning to end. She is right.

It is a choice that you have to make to begin to control your emotions, your thoughts, and your expectations.

NO expectations is DB101.

When you truly start practicing that, you will begin to level out.