I haven't been around for awhile. After my Mom's death I needed time, and still do, to be alone, process and grieve. I've also spent a lot of time with my kids, Dad and siblings and have healed a great deal in a short time.
I've come back to stress the importance of knowing your rights and doing your own research even if you believe you have a good attorney. I have learned more after several hours in the law library on my own than I was ever told while I was racking up over $10k in legal fees. I am shocked by how easy it was to find key information, none of which was ever explained to me. I wish I hadn't been so overwhelmed and focused on my ex's MLC. I've worked in the legal field for many years, doing research of all things, but didn't have a clue about this area of law. I foolishly let others tell me what they thought I should know. Because of this I felt incredibly helpless (isn't that ironic) and believed my ex had more rights than me and my kids. I was so wrong. It didn't help that I needed to change attorneys midstream.
I've read so many posts here that are full of desperation regarding legal matters, particularly from women who rely on the WAS for most or all of their income. It's scary. I know. Everyone here needs to be familiar with family law in your state. Pinpoint codes regarding fiduciary responsibility between husband and wife, disclosures, support, etc. If you've never done legal research, don't worry. Find a law library and ask for help. Once you have a basic understanding and a list of questions you'll be in a much better position to have a productive meeting with your attorney. I used to think I lived in the worst state ever for divorce, but only because I had not been fully informed.
I just want to reiterate what the vets wrote to me early on, put your business hat on and protect your assets. I wish I had listened. I have a huge legal mess to untangle now thanks to my MLC ex who attempted fraud among other things.
