I'm not angry actually, like I said a couple of months ago, maybe under my old userID. I don't have any of that left in me, no jealousy, no expectations. I feel a little disappointed in how the finale played out, with someone else having more of a say in my marriage than I did. But what do you do?
My wife's health has been none of my business according to her. Theres no reason to take a day or two to reflect for me, theres no actions I would do either way anyways. I'll get up in the morning, shower, brush my teeth, get dressed. And get some work done. The world isn't gonna stop spinning, my kids still need their dad, and now that's my fulltime job.
I didn't get much of a say, other people did, that's my only regret. My changes I needed to make, I made them, they weren't enough for the people my wife is hanging out with or more willing to listen too.
You seem almost too level headed about this... It was rough early on for you. Are you sure you didn't build up some armor and now you aren't allowing yourself to feel?
Me-45 W-44 T-7 years M-3 years (4th anniversary July 13, but we're separated) Kids from previous relationships (s14 d16 mine, s23, s24 hers)
My wife, and the way she was raised, has no communications skills at all. Its something that i'd really tried our last couple of years to address. She keeps everything bottled up, refuses to talk about anything on her mind. Wallows in self pity, then decides she's had enough all without letting anyone know there was an issue in the first place.
I tried to get her to go to IC, even if it didn't save our marriage cause she needed some tools to work thru issues. She just doesn't feel she needs that help. Her friends offer her advice and that's what she acts on. She said she understands her faults in our marriage, but doesn't need any help to work thru them.
I finally got a JOB, omg!!! 6 months, and hundreds of applications later, started at end of a payroll cycle, and my first check wont cover my bills, I've been living off credit cards. But there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Going to be a very very small xmas, first one not being a family to boot. Now to just work on finding a place to live that's more permanent. Looks like bankruptcy here I come.
Funny how, after all these apps, I couldn't buy a job for months, then all of a sudden I got 9 job offers within 3 days of accepting the one I got. 2 are actually MUCH better jobs. Now I need to figure out whats best for me and my future in those regards.
My wife, and the way she was raised, has no communications skills at all. Its something that i'd really tried our last couple of years to address. She keeps everything bottled up, refuses to talk about anything on her mind. Wallows in self pity, then decides she's had enough all without letting anyone know there was an issue in the first place.
I just wanted to say how much I can relate to this, my wife is exactly the same, identical infact. It is incredibly frustrating to not have the opportunity to correct the issue that you never knew about until it's apparently "too late".
Me: 34, Wife: 34 Son: 2 Married: 8, Together: 14 Wife moved out 8/25/2013 Divorce papers received 01/10/2014
Communication issues are probably pretty common among WASs. My w would never talk when she got upset. She would give me the silent treatment for a few days and then things would go back to normal. When we first started dating I tried to push her to talk. Then I tried to get her to get counseling for her and she didn't.
After a while I thought I got better reading her because she more and more rarely got upset. In the last three years we were together I got her silent treatment once and we had no other issues until BD.
Me-45 W-44 T-7 years M-3 years (4th anniversary July 13, but we're separated) Kids from previous relationships (s14 d16 mine, s23, s24 hers)
