CP, haven't read your thread in a while, this is great news. I understand being nervous, however, there are never any guarantees (as you know!) either before or after BD. The benefit you have now is that you are aware of the issues in your M, you are both actively working on them and you have grown as a person.
Looking back now, I realize that I needed to go through what I am going through now in order to be in a better place now. It is all getting clearer now. As we are slowly reconciling, things are getting better. And not better as in the same as things used to be. I feel we are on our way to being closer now than we ever have been before.
You're right that the key is that we are recognizing our problems and working on them. Before we used to just hide our problems and hope they would go away on their own. We are getting better at communicating things when they are bothering us.
Originally Posted By: lovethehub
I used to do the same thing and it is probably the biggest reason our R took so long. What I have learned is that, if I really listen and understand H's point, most of the time I no longer care about defending myself. I have learned that, even if I don't agree, it is still H's experience of that situation and by defending myself I am telling him his feelings are wrong.
I am slowly coming to realize that as well. He has the right to his opinion and I am trying to understand that and see things from his perspective.
-cp
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
