Okay I guess maybe I’m in a poor me mood. I don’t know.
I am fairly supportive of H playing VB, I do complain sometimes when he plays 3-4 times a week, it’s just a lot. Most of the time I keep my mouth shut. I don’t even act upset. Mostly I’m not upset. I can’t however be supportive of his co-ed league as in go watch. It’s at sport club and H says I can’t get in anymore. Two years ago I did. He said they are strickter now.
I really do need something I could do, a hobby. Something that could get me out of the house 1-2 times a week. Of course it can’t interfere with H’s VB. I never have really done an activity on a regular basis other than Karaoke but that is late at night during the week at bars, I just can’t do that scene all the time. I’ve never done sports I’m not good at them. I’m not creative. So, I just don’t know what to do.
The other thing is I DID stop making him playing with the OW an issue. I thought we were getting somewhere but it was mainly his shoulder problems that the playing with OW got cut back. Now that he is healthy it is going into FULL swing again. Me backing off did not make H decide for himself he shouldn’t play with OW. But see it IS an issue. I HATE it. Even if H and OW had ZERO interenst in eachother than playing it still bothers me. Just for what she represents. BUT I suckied it up and delt with it and stoped asking H not to play with her. I honestly didn’t even act like it botherd me anymore. It got to the point where I really didn’t feel threatned anymor. Well I see it made no difference other than to make H think I’m perfectly okay with it and he is free to play with her as much as he pleases.
VB defintly is an ego boast for my H. Fine. I have no problem with that. But he could play on a leauge that OW is not on. Why did he chose the one she is on???
I guess what is getting to me is there is nothing H and I share. Nothing we do together really. Not a shared interest. Nothing recreational. Only having friends over sometimes, playing cards and having some drinks. Occasionally we go to the Races, just for fun not big gambling. We like some of the same reality shows and watch them together. That’s about it. But see, OW shares his love of VB, or obsession I should say. So it is really hard for me to be supportive of him playing with her, when I don’t get that from him. We don’t even really do much as a family. I take S to the playround, to b-day parties, to the mall, on walks. H never goes. He is just not interested. He is not into the family life. I am. I want to be a mom I want a best friend in my husband. I also want to be my own person with some of my own time It’s not as though I only want to be a mom and NEED my H. He however only wants his own time. He can go DAYS without seeing S or me on a regular basis and it does not phase him.
Oh, maybe I’m in funk. I don’t know. I do need to do something. Thing is it will not peak my H’s interst, he will be thrilled that I have somethig that would take me away, he would probably get a sitter for S and go out himself on the nights I have something.
Uh, when I read this, it sounds like I just shot down all of LL and Cindy’s advice. Not trying to do that, I guess I feel I’ve done some of it already and it didn’t work. Maybe I'm tired of trying to not let H's playing with OW bother me. Honestly I just do feel very down and negative. I’m not used to feeling this way so strongly. It’s not my nature.
