say nothing and assume that nothing will change and you will therefore be misserable in the r and maybe at somepoine leave?
that will probably be communicated to h whether you want it to or not and who knows then what could happen.
Look for the positives in the r and water them occassionally picking out the weeds or adding lady bugs (in the form of your own version of vb, something for you a hobby that you invest yourself into?) to eat away at the weeds.
this may peek h's interest, may make him wonder may make him decide to vest a bit more time in the r and family and eventually not depend so much on vb for that sense of pride.
as you may recall my h's ow was a customer of his...irked the living crap out of me that she continued to stay a customer after he returned home. I wanted her gone, wanted him to start moving his business closer to home...always excuses and reasons why these couldn't occur. His reasoning for not dropping her as a customer very much mirrors your h's reasoning for not dropping ow as a vb partner. well low and behold once I finally resigned to the fact that she was going to stay a customer...poof! She's not a customer any more AND h has spoken of placing adds in the local paper for business! I'm not suggesting that if you do this or that your h will suddenly drop vb and playing with ow but it is possible.
