No, my H doesn't get "paid" so to speak to play VB. Especially in the leauges, they are just for fun. But in the Summer when they have Doubles in the grass or the sand they typically win money if they get 1st, sometimes 2nd. But not a huge amount, especially when you factor in they have to pay to play.
However the VB community is a huge social group and a lot of it is status. Winners are admired. It just so happens that H and OW used to win all the time. That is why even after the A was discovered and then ended, H insisted he would still play with OW. For the fact that they won and that people who win don't just stop playing together, it would possibly reveal the R they had or at least have people questioning.
It’s not like I didn’t know VB was so important to my H before I married him. Even way back I would sometimes get frustrated by how much he did. BUT it was easier, I had no child, I could go hang with him when he played or do my own thing.
That changed when S was born and it really changed when OW came into the pic. H had other women partners in the past because he always does better in co-ed, it was never really an issue. I trusted him. OW changed all of that.
Anyway, I don’t get him either LL. So many of VB are single and childless so it is their life. I think H wants it to be his. If he could do it all over I don’t think he would get married and he definitely wouldn’t have had children.
I don’t play VB and never have, in fact I’ve never played a sport. That was actually one of the things H liked about me, that I didn’t play because his ex-girl did and always wanted to play with him, but then they would fight on the court. He said GF/BF R’s and H/W R’s don’t mix on the court. (of course he and OW were VB partners first then A partners, go figure)
I know of at least 3 marriages that broke up among VB players with a non-player spouse. One is the OW and her H. The other is a girl who also started a R with her VB partner then left her H. They are still together. I guess we’ve been domed from the start.
So we are going to PA this weeked to see a Flyers game with our S and our Friends and their S. I got the tickets for H for x-mas, he is a Flyers fan and I thought he’d enjoy seeing a game in their home stadium. I don’t feel like going. Not one bit. In fact I don’t feel like even looking at my H let alone spending the weekend with him. ]
I haven’t seen him since Tuesday night for a short bit after work. He went to VB and then out, I was asleep when he got home (Our good GUY friend picked him up, so no worry of OW) Then yesterday he went straight to VB from work and then out I was asleep when he got home, and he left for work before I got up this morning. He had to be there early for an install.
I will try to be as normal as possible; I’m pretty good at acting as if. I don’t want to blindside him that I’m not happy about the league, but I also don’t want to ruin the weekend.
I just still am at such a loss at how to talk to him about his choice to play on ANOTHER league with OW. I also want to ask if he intends on playing doubles with her again this summer. Though I know the answer and I won’t like it. This is not the life I want. I just will not be happy.
