Okay, so I guess I’m a “poor” weather (as opposed to fair weather) poster? I guess it comes down to when I’m just beside myself and don’t have an outlet, no one to talk to I come here. I don’t blame anyone if they have nothing to say, since I’ve not replied to those who so kindly said hello and gave advice last time. I did read it all and had every intention of replying, there was good advice there. Things are just so busy at work which is when I most did my posting in the past. I guess too, I haven’t bee as all consumed by my marital problems as I was in those dark days. Forgive my lack of response and Thank you’s. I really do appreciate it and what you all said was very valuable.
Cindy F, Mooka - Nice to see new faces (names) especially in Piecing. Thank you for taking the time to respond.
Lostlove, Sage and Steve- It is so nice to see all of you guys! I’m glad to see familiar faces (names) Thank you so much. I promise to make my way to you soon and at least pop in.
I started really thinking about the 2nd baby thing and that maybe I was pushing too soon and I should wait, but didn’t really discuss it with H right then, I had my yearly exam coming up in March and figured I would get my pills refilled then and tell H about it. That gave a couple months for just in case by some miracle that he might change his mind. I had my appointment today befor the email from H and got my new pill prescription. I’m definitily taking it!
I also did have a chance to discuss OW not being a problem for me. My VB girl friend mentioned that there was going to be a group dinner and we should go. I told H and he said, “no OW is the one arranged that gathering.” Understandable, I wouldn’t go if it was her gig. But that night when we were laying in bed I told him that I wanted him to know it that it is not an issue to me if OW is at a social gathering and we don’t have to miss it because of her, that I can be where she is. H didn’t say anything.
Well one thing I didn’t mention in my 1st posts is that H started back into his co-ed league with OW in January, It’s a team with 2 girls 2 guys that play one night a week, WED. It didn’t bother me that much, I didn’t say ONE word to H about it, because I did trust him more and OW wasn’t such a big deal to me anymore. Well then there was a co-ed Friday night tournament with those four, again I didn’t say anything.
H has been getting back into VB heavily , he wants to get better from the shoulder surgery and be able to play well this summer, so he has been playing on Tue night pick-up (likely that OW is there, that is the one she used to go to, but H has never mentioned it) Wed night co-ed league and some Thursday nights for pick-up, (OW not at this one) Also a couple Saturdays for his men sixes team. I have mentioned that it is a lot sometimes and I need some nights too. H normally does not like to hear this gets a little defensive. H also just played in a doubles Friday night tournament with OW as a partner on the 12th. BTW he just sent me an email earlier in that week saying he wanted to play and hoped it didn’t interfere with plans. I said no it didn’t interfere with anything, hoping he was playing with this other girl he played with before, but feeling it was probably OW. On Friday I asked who his partner was. OW he said. He did not volunteer the info I had to ask. OH, I again said nothing. It just doesn’t even matter because it would just be an fight, he would be so pissed that I would have a problem with it. SO, no opposition from me. The next day, nothing said about the tourn, whether he won or not, nothing. I know I should say more to H, but really we CAN”T talk, and H won’t talk. Like when I told him OW wasn’t a problem, it was like I said it to a brick wall, he said nothing, there was no conversation. It drives me crazy!
Okay throw in here that one night in early Feb, after we ML H said ILY and sent roses on V-day w/a note that says ILY. Unusual, H rarely says that anymore, since the bomb 2years ago now. Those kinda helped me get through the other stuff too. But there is other tension, finance stuff, and the baby stuff and all the VB playing and H working more too. Oh yea, H going to the gym and dieting again too during lunch to get in shape for VB, I have been also as he inspired me. (not the same gym)
Well, today I sent an email asking if it was finals for his league tonight, what time, and if he was playing in it the next session.
This is what he sent:
Quote: Laney,
Tonight is finals at ****. My game is as soon as the B finals is over. B finals is scheduled for 7PM and it's best of 5. So if it's 3 games, it will probably start around the scheduled time of 8PM. If it's 5 games it could go longer. I want to come home first, but I brought clothes just in case. I am super busy at work right now. I have two projects that I'm in the middle of that are giving me headaches. My preference is not to have to stay late...but if that is what I have to do...then what can I tell you?
As far as upcoming volleyball goes, I plan on playing the next session at ********. I'm not sure when next session starts but typically there is a week or two in between sessions. I also am going to play in the ***** Reverse Co-ed league. It will be on Monday nights and it starts in about 2-3 weeks. Those will be my "regular" volleyball nights, but I would like to be able to play here and there when schedules permit. Notice that I have listened to your hints that I'm just playing volleyball all the time.
And since I already know your next question, yes...OW is on the Reverse Co-ed Team. The others are girl, girl, guy and guy. I'm not playing because of OW, but because it's an opportunity to play in the league. Just like ******, I will not go out afterwards if OW is there. I have been very respectful of that and I will be upset if that is an issue. With that said...if we win tonight...I will probably go out to celebrate.
Once summer comes, I'm probably going to play in a league with Guy at the sand courts. I've sent an email to ***** asking her if I coordinated the league night with her if I could stay a little later and play doubles after. I'm waiting to hear back from her. I'm not sure what night that will be...or if she will even agree with that.
I hope that answers everything.
H
I can’t tell you how upset I am. Am I just crazy or does it come across as condescending? First I feel like he is telling me OW is playing only because I would insist to know, not out of respect that he should. Also it bugs me that he just already decided he is doing this like it or not, no asking me my feelings. So now H is going to see and play with OW 2 nights a week on a regular basis and he will be upset if that is an issuer to me ??? What the HELL is that?? I just want to say who the hell do you think you are? The other thing that bothers me is he doesn’t even like REVERSE co-ed (its where the guys can only hit from the back row) But he says it’s for the opportunity to play in the league???? I did not reply. I couldn’t because I probably would have just been nasty. I actually did learn something the last couple years. He did not come home first tonight from work, he went straight to the league, (which has been the norm on his Wed night co-ed league night BTW) Also he said in one breath that he doesn’t go out after if OW is there, but if they win tonight he will probably go celebrate and you mean to tell me OW won’t go if they win the season??
Let me tell you my mind it going nuts right now and everything in my gut feels bad, red flags to me. You know when h was having the A he gave me the sweetest romantic cards and ILY’s and a V-day gift. You know he went to the gym and dieted, you know he played VB a lot and where OW was involved. Things that make you go HMMMMMMMM. I just feel like I'm getting ready to live in my past. I don't want to go there.
So is my H getting involved with her again? Part of me says no, part says yes. I’m just going crazy in my mind and I don’t know how to handle this. I don’t know what to say to H about that email. I mean do you see how he “warned” me I better not have an issue with this??? So obviously he does not want to discuss it. I am at a loss. I’m pissed, I’m hurt, I’m worried. Part of me truly just wants to bag it. Just say forget it. I mean we don’t even want the same things in life. Am I over-reacting? My mind is swimming. I have truly thought how I should just say we should just get a divorce and then have been thinking how I will do it alone with my S, where could I live, could I afford it? That’s how negative I feel right now. I want to WALK AWAY! Crazy.
