One of my H's primary LL's is Acts of Service. It was when we were first married and took the LL quiz..and it still is today.
Yesterday, when he was really spewing, he brought up SEVERAL TIMES how messy are house is and how lazy I am. He brought up the messy house a few days ago, too, and then, recanted and acted like it was no big deal.
In all honesty, I did use to keep a cleaner house. This house, right now, is a DUMP. I'm depressed and sad all the time. I am tired all the time. All I want to do is come home from work and sleep. So, I admit....it's a mess.
When we moved here, 2 years ago, we moved from a 4 bedroom brick house with 2 living areas and tons of closets and storage space to a small 3 bedroom double wide trailer. With four kids, we just don't have enough room (or possibly just have too much stuff...ya know?).
Also, for the past 2 years, H does NOTHING around here, inside or out. I really do have to do everything....so I've been slacking because I'm tired of doing everything...but have I created a vicious cycle here?
So, people out there with AOS as your LL....is H just spewing and being hateful because he knows the messy house bothers me, too....or is this something that could really be bothering him and making him feel unloved???
I couldn't sleep last night, so I actually did clean up A LOT of stuff. House already looks way better.
FYI, H just showed up a bit ago, out of the blue to spend time in "his half" or our home. Whatever. I treated him kindly and left the room to do my own thing. Hope he notices that I did clean...but I did it for ME, not for him.
I realize that I (and the kids) need to be better at keeping the house clean for us...but I wonder if it will also affect H's attitude if I kept the house cleaner? Hhhmmmmm.
