I realize what you are saying about EA vs PA. I even made this point with W immediately after BD. Told her that being emotionally invested in OM was worse than touching someone.
Ok, but you yourself said that you don't think you could recover from a PA, yet your W is probably having an EA right now, in your MBR, with you in the bed. How does that reconcile? Is that consistent with what you have said previously?
My W wanted to put the computer I built for her to keep he off the kids' computers with her cyber activities, including the webcam, in our MBR. She was then a stay at home Mom, so had all day to play once I was at work and the kids off to school. Here I drew a line, set a boundary. No way. I told her I couldn't stop her from doing what she was doing, but it was not going to happen in OUR MBR. Too disrespectful, etc. She had a fit, spewed venom, etc.
But the computer went to "her" part of the living room. I stood firm. I haven't set too many boundaries through this, but the few I did, I held.
Thing is, you are probably going to see a lot of crap, shocking crap. You have to find why you are doing this, what "hills you are going to die on", you have to find YOUR center, know YOURSELF and who YOU are/want to be.
And then get CONSISTENT with thoughts, words and actions.
Have you been doing Cadet's homework? Reading through the archives and other people's threads?
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
