Its a sad relief to finally know the truth in a way.
Yes, the truth does set us free, doesn't it?
I would certainly take my time thinking it over.
I am struggling with this. I'm a fixer and a doer...let's just get stuff done and move on. This whole waiting around limbo thing drives me nuts! But, I'm getting better, sometimes. I do see more clearly, now, the importance of taking our time and not rushing anything.
I think what your husband is doing with the "You threw me out" is very script like, before he could profess his innocence and make you feel guilty. Since the truth is now out, they need to reverse it again and make you out as the "bad" person for splitting up the marriage. I know, its crazy, but they don't think rationally. Believe none of what they say, and half of what they do.
I agree. He was totally trying to divert blame to me and make me out to be the bad guy. I just wasn't very good about DBing while he was doing it. I was frustrated that I didn't handle it better.
Going dim is totally for you as a way of keeping yourself out of the guilt game. Its time you set some boundaries for yourself, and STICK to them, before you drive yourself insane.
I was just talking to a couple of really good friends about this yesterday. Others on here have been telling me to set some boundaries and I've been too scared...but yes, it's time.
Act "as if" your moving on, its time, drop the rope a little, and let him play with his own demons. All day yesterday, I honestly kept picturing a rope...and me dropping it. True story. I found strength in just letting go a bit more. And, I think H sensed I was letting go more...that's why he freaked out so much at the park.
Make him put in some work, you've been carrying the torch by yourself for too long. Since he's already convinced himself that he's done, separated, then let him live with that decision for a while. He needs to find that out for himself.
Yep....so true....but I HAVE to work on doing this in a warm, friendly manner....not B****y like I was yesterday. That certainly doesn't make him want to come back! Lol.
The sex must stop, imho, your losing some self respect.
I get what you're saying...I'm trying to work toward that. Obviously, we didn't yesterday or today...and I'm going to try to make it a point to avoid physical contact. Won't be as hard to if he's not here.
I might be totally off base here, but you need to start being proactive for yourself, not reactive in hopes of what your doing might work, it wont. He needs to make that journey all by himself.
I am SLOWLY getting this...just ask others who've been reading my threads since the beginning (PatientMan, for one!)...and I KNOW I need to be more proactive....just putting it in motion is hard for me....baby steps, I guess.
