I had a good coaching session yesterday. It is so nice to be able to talk with someone over the phone. I really wish that I could find a local IC that really understood DBing.
I have been struggling with how accommodating/available I should be with H and with him coming over to the house. I have been GALing, so it was not about him thinking that I am sitting at home waiting for him, but more about him getting to live both lives (A and family). The past two days, H called on his way home. H asked what we were doing. I gave a quick run down about the kids. H kept talking in circles, but I knew that he wanted me to ask him to join us. It was so obvious but I did not ask. After 5 minutes both times, he finally asked to come over for dinner and to stay until the kids went to bed.
My DB coach said that it was good for H to hear himself asks these questions and realize that maybe he does want to be part of our family life (which includes me). She said not to cancel plans that we have already made, but if I feel comfortable, to let him ask and then let him come and enjoy a stress free evening. It was nice to have positive feedback and suggestions from my coach.
I am starting to feel less of an urge to want to know information about H's activities (I will ask about work stuff, but not about going out info, etc) and less of an urge to stalk his FB page. I am sure this urge will go up and down, but it is nice to feel it come down a little for the first time in a year.
