S4tk, Thanks so much for your post - and wow... you read it all!
You know, it helps to hear you say it all sounds unreal... it still feels a bit that way to me.
I hear you when you say I don't sound detached. I'm trying, and I think I am a lot better than I used to be, but i've still a long way to go, I know.
In relation to OW, I think I have come along in leaps and bounds, however. I used to blow up when i saw her smirking face, but now i just ignore her when she shows up with XH to my kids' school events and at court. I like to think of how she doesn't know what she's gotten herself into with XH. She has no idea of his financial situation, nor of the legal problems he is going to face.
I take your point about caution over the 'family' dinners. The kids and I have been burnt so many times that we just treat these meetings as opportunities to get some food or money. Sounds awful, i know, but we try to do it with politeness and dignity (if you can imagine what that might be like!). Still waiting in vain for some sign of personal growth on his part; he seems to remain completely be-fogged by the fantasy he has created.
I still think about what a low-life she is to betray us like this, but I'm not caught up with what the two of them do like I used to be.
Thanks for the cheer-leading too, but i certain don't feel like a hero - more like a bit of a fool, who only gets things through her obstinate and self-obssessed head when it's too late to change.
I'm thankful for the opportunities for insight that this dreadful sitch has offered up, and I will definitely keep going!
