Intro - hoping for support/advice on DBing

[melissag]

JF . . . I am waiting for him to initiate because I am trying not to pursue him. We are to the point where he ends up sleeping in the bed with me every few nights. Now, when he does sleep on the couch, he says he is sleeping on the couch because he needs to get some sleep. (We don't sleep much when he sleeps with me.) I have no idea what he is thinking since I am no mindreader, but trust me when I say that he is well aware that his advances are not going to be rejected.

Also, I think it is important for him to own his decisions. If he is the one who initiates, he has to acknowledge that he wanted it, as opposed to if I initiate, he can tell himself that I just seduced him or something. Not sure if that makes sense objectively now that I am writing it, but in my head it does.

If I had been doing 180s a few months ago, then yes, I would be initiating left and right. Sadly, I waited until after he had already BD'd to start. He did say a few weeks ago that he feels uncomfortable with touching because he feels he needs to stand on his own . . . but then an hour later initiated sex. And continues to on a semi-regular basis. So I have no idea - I am just trying to respect what he said he wanted.