The ONLY way out is the LD partner deciding to take action, and the only motivation for that seems to be the HD partner leaving or cheating or both.
Why not more gradual steps? Tell the LD partner that you're thinking about having a friend with benefits. If that doesn't work, say you're looking for a friend with benefits. If that doesn't work, say you've found a friend with benefits and you're about to hook up but you haven't yet. If all of those things don't work, well then you almost have approval. So for the final step, ask for approval. If they refuse to talk about it, say you're going ahead and that lack of objection on their part sounds like approval.
I know that sounds manipulative and in-your-face. But is divorce or secret cheating any better?
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Unfortunately, I believe that the marriage has often disintegrated in many other ways at this point, so even the HD partner leaving may not be enough to change anything.
True, and I'm in the "not often" category of that statement.
