Intro - hoping for support/advice on DBing

[melissag]

Thank you, PM. Yes, I do refer back to the 37 rules quite frequently. I have also started collecting little nuggets from reading tons of threads on here, so I am making a list of those. That way I can look at them whenever I am letting my emotions get the best of me.

I am definitely GALing . . . I've been going out more with my friends (mostly lunch and coffee - not so much up for a night out on the town yet, but hopefully will get there); bought some new clothes; got a fairly significant haircut; started running with my girlfriends (we are all doing couch to 5K together); signed up for a photography class that I have been wanting to take; started to cook more often (in the past, H has done a lot of the cooking); and generally just been busier doing things. Some of this is also 180ing, since somehow (now that I look at it), I would up doing almost nothing for myself and was way too focused on the family unit.

Also for 180s, he said I was too critical - haven't said a critical word to him in 5+ weeks; not enough intimacy - I have been forthcoming with that but only if he initiates it (this one is rough bc I want to initiate to show him but that's pursuing of course); Just basically doing everything differently. Maybe before would have sat out of a fun activity and let him do it with the kids. Nope. Now I do everything. Being less picky about food, the way things are done. Giving him appreciation for things.

Ironic how the 180s are SO easy and in fact, in most cases, much easier than the same olds. I mean, I can't believe the effort I put into looking at things he did in a negative light . . . how exhausting. And stupid.