Where am I at?

[lovethehub]

She said he probably will not notice that much, just know that he will be going over to grandmas on the weekend.

Does she honestly believe that an 8 year old will not notice that his parents are getting a divorce?

I can't believe that i will be turning 48 Christmas and I'm going to have to start my life all over again. At this point I do not think I will marry again, just to much pain to deal with when the other person decides that they don't love you anymore.

I am sorry you are going through this and I know it s*@ks. However, don't even think about whether you will marry again or not. The only thing you can do and control at this point is yourself. You are beginning to realize things you have done that were most likely problematic in your M. Work on fixing those things first. It may or may not bring your W back, but in the long run it will most likely make you a happier person. Nobody wants to be a doormat who concedes everything because it is easier, and most people don't want a spouse who does that. Start doing things that will make you feel better about yourself - that's what DBing is all about.

I was talking to a female friend to day, I have been talking to her to get a female perspective, and she said that maybe why my w wants out quicker is because maybe she is seeing the changes and getting scared she might change her mind and stay. She also thinks that maybe there is no om and that her friends are influencing her decision.

This is mind reading and it really doesn't matter why she wants out quicker. It only matters that you start becoming the person you want to be. I also think that password protecting your phone, ipod, fb, etc. are a good indication that there is something in there you aren't supposed to see.

I am sorry you found yourself here and that your M is in trouble. Learn all you can, read as many other threads as you have time for and apply what you are learning.