Ambivalent, Considering your h is out on the street, I strongly urge you to have condoms on hand. Why would you want to risk getting that little gift that keeps on giving? Protect yourself even if he doesn't think about it.
Yes, I can tell from your postings that your emotions are not consistent. They are like ping pong balls bouncing all around.
I hope your appointment tomorrow will help you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
