Yes, it is true, I feel stuck. The enormity of the pressure is more profound that ever before. I am trying to recover from yet another betrayal. I am embarrassed and ashamed. I don't talk with anyone because I ashamed that this has happened again and that I still love this man.
I know I have not posted a response to you in a few days, but I needed to read and re-read your post several times and truly thought about its application to my situation.
I BELIEVED that he was truly remorseful and committed to recharging our marriage and relationship. It was false, I realize that now. However, it is too late, too far gone (in the steps he has taken this time around) for him to ever re-consider the path to divorce.
Maybe it is that realization that is forcing this extreme pain. I cannot sleep...still. I cannot eat. I go to work, come home and TRY to sleep. I still have my IC that I see, but it is just all talk. I have my ADs, but they don't work even after upping the dosage from 50 mg to 150 mg. I pray everyday.
I have tried to focus on GALng activities. I even signed up an attended an introduction class to Crossfit. It was a good experience, but it left me sore. I am going again on Saturday (so at least I am beginning to get out of the house on weekends). I recently joined a reading group that will meet in 2 weeks. I started looking for a place to live permanently, although that usually brings me to tears.
I am sorry if it feels like a pity party, but I am trying to pull myself up from the broken strings of my life. I thank you for your direct words.
I want to be okay, but is it wrong to want my marriage?
OLD THREAD: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2380569#Post2380569
Me: 44 Him: 51 Married: 9 years Together: 14 years
