Questions on the 37 rules and other advice...

[S4tk]

Well that post is a very long read, I don't really have too much to say about it, it seems pretty cohesive and well thought out. About the only comment I have is to keep in mind that you have to do 180's for you, out of a desire to become the best possible person you can, because your W will see your 180's as tricks to get her back after which you'll fall into old patterns and habits. To her you're showing too little too late. So don't expect any encouragement. Just stick to them, eventually after months and months of consistent changed behavior she may start believing you've really changed.

Also I wanted to comment on this:

*** Which of these will be the very first sign that things are starting to be on the right track? (this is a difficult question. She has never, hardly ever, pursued me in any way. Never asked me out for a date, very rarely initiated intimacy, never sat next to me on the couch, very rarely acted in a playful or affectionate way, rarely carried a "light" attitude about her) ***

It seems like that is just basic relationship stuff that occurs in ANY healthy R, and if you're saying she almost never did those things then that is not a good sign. It makes me wonder if she has some kind of intimacy issues, like for some reason she has trouble opening up or getting close to someone. Hopefully she's exploring that in IC.

AS,

Your observation is a likely probability, but she is not willing to explore that right now, I imagine. She is doing IC but with a Gestalt / Jungian T she found herself so I'm not sure they are diving into the dark underbelly.

T