PATIENCE PROMISCUITY AND PROFIDIOUSNESS

[Ambivalent]

Your ego is very much the point. To say ego is a "man thing" is a sterotype and simply not true.

Stereo types are just that for a reason, it tends to hold some truth.

You also appear to have some control issues going on here.

Not every one feels the need to sugar coat their words.

Perhaps, however I'm sharing what helps me. I'm also sharing that I would like a bit more respect. I don't find what he wrote, at the end respectful. One can show compassion, respect and still prompt some self introspection.

This is also a falsehood.

You appear to make very sweeping generalizations based on very little evidence often.

I will agree to disagree here. In my case, I was right in the moment, with a month's worth of evidence. I was raw and my feelings were pouring out.

Now from what I understand , this is a place to vent. I WAS VENTING and it was not helpful to me!

What have you done, besides simply watch and wait for your H to come back home, to change your situation?

What have you done to step out of the victim mindset that you seem to have?

Wow, THOSE are two HUGE assumptions!

At this point I'm not going to defend myself, for I have written quite a bit on this board. Before you assume anything about my behavior, or thinking that there is a lack there of, perhaps a bit of reading on my situation may be of some use.

This is not helpful either . Mr. Bond is a grown man, I was addressing him and our interaction. I expressed what works for me, and also that the way he was relating to me was not helpful. In fact it came across hurtful and snarky.

There is a difference between sugar coating and writing hurtful things. Many times things can come across very harsh at the wrong time. Prefacing goes a long way, and when someone is venting or in deep pain, being hit with a bat is not the best approach.
Perhaps if one was more diplomatic, it would go a long way towards more effective communication or interaction.

I'm not here to argue or defend myself. I understand how things may get misinterpreted on a board.

[quote]I don't want to bash you, however, [color:#FF0000]I can see some very glaring things that will stand in your way of every reconciling this relationship in a healthy way.

Wow! That comes across as I don't want to bash you BUT I'm going to bash you.

Followed by a very cryptic remark. I'm open to brain-storming and suggestions, yes that is another reason I'm here. Ad-hominem remarks when we don't know each other is unhelpful.

That came across very ugly.

Believe me, I'm VERY aware of my faults. And right now but mostly the last two days , I am sensitive.

There is much finger pointing here and it is not productive.

Goal setting, strategizing, information sharing, quotes from MWD, THESE are productive.

Attacking someone's character, when they were or are down ( I mean hurting, not angry ) is not constructive. It just causes someone to withdraw and not share how they are feeling.

I could say...have you always been so cryptic, and judgmental?

Now I didn't mean that snarky or nasty, I'm trying to point out how it may not come across as helpful, or productive. It may come across as hostile.

Is this something with which you may agree?

I'm in turmoil right now, it is very fresh , and I've been fighting for my self-esteem, my marriage, my sanity, and yes working on myself e v e r y s i n g l e day.