You have my deepest sympathy, that's a terrible story! The only reason I can understand seeing you stay in a no-sex marriage is because (1) the rest of the marriage is extremely fulfilling and meets your needs and/or (2) the sex just isn't that important to you.
That said, it sounds like the sex IS important to you, and it's hard to imagine being in a fulfilling marriage with a spouse who claims to have NO desire for you and is in fact gay.
I have to ask why you would stay in that marriage? At the very least I think you owe it to yourself to do a trial separation to make sure that staying is the right decision. If she's gay, she's gay, that's not going to change no matter what happens.
Acc
She could be "gay" and not have attraction towards the male... However she as a friend and relationship partner could decide to physically allow him access to copulate her. It might not be her favorite activity to do, but she might find it out of the kindness of her heart to think that her husband should recieve this guesture. She might even come to enjoy that he is being pleased through the activity.
