Where am I at?

[Icecoldw]

Thanks another stander, looking at my actions for another perspective, I realized I was trying to control the sit and because I'm hurt I was acting childish. I have conceded the garage to the w until she moves out. By the looks of the basement, it will not be long.

As far as the bday party, that was my fault because I missed the RSVP. I was trying to be proactive and not rely on w to make all the arrangements. Since August, the w has stopped doing anything around the house. Just stuff that pertains to her.

I feel numb today because I think it is finally setting in that she is leaving. I have been looking at my past actions and can't really blame her, I realize I have caused her great pain and didn't mean to. I'll be going wed to see my pastor, I think I am becoming depressed. I haven't really been able to sleep all that we'll and the number of days that I go to the gym has dropped from 5 to 2. I can't believe that i will be turning 48 Christmas and I'm going to have to start my life all over again. At this point I do not think I will marry again, just to much pain to deal with when the other person decides that they don't love you anymore.