Intro - hoping for support/advice on DBing

[Not Quitting]

Hi melissa - got a few minutes so as promised I dropped by your thread.

You're going to see that your sitch will have a lot of similarities to others on this board. I haven't noticed anyone say it to you yet, so I will...Only believe half of what he does and none of what H says. In his mind everything he says and does is justified and is the truth. It's just the way his mind is working right now.

I found it much easier to start detaching after my H physically moved out. For starters, you're probably walking on eggshells around him right now, which means that you're not very relaxed. You mentioned earlier about trouble sleeping - a large part of that is the stress you're going through. If you really feel you need help either see your doctor or a naturopath, depending on how you feel about chemical sleep aids. Sleeping better will improve your general outlook, so it's a vicious circle if you're not getting enough sleep.

My H also told my son that our separation was only temporary while we tried to work things out. In the meantime he's posting pics on FB of him and his OW - our son is a friend on FB so he could see what was going on but no explanation was coming from his dad. Take it day by day with the kids - it's the only thing you can. My son is old enough to understand a bit better and I told my H from the start that I would not lie to our son so if he asked questions he would get an honest answer - and that is exactly what happened.

Nothing about your sitch is going to be fixed overnight. This is, as the vets will say, a marathon, not a sprint. I see that AnotherStander has been posting on your thread - very good source of advice

If you intend to email, text or even talk to H you can always post your ideas on here for feedback before going to your H with it. Keep working on your 180s, build and maintain your PMA (for the kids as well as your own well-being) and GAL. If you need to vent, do it on here not to your H. Journallying or asking advice on here is a great idea. And do not involve parents, in-laws or other family members if you can avoid it. Friends and family will want to see your hurt ending so they may not understand why you are still trying to save your M.