OK maybe I am fooling myself, but I don't think he is just going through the motions. I think he likes it because (a) he has said as much (and that he wants to send time with me even after he moves out); (b) he is initiating spending time with me even when I give him space; and (c) things are actually much better and we are both behaving much better than we were before BD. It is true, though, I haven't the slightest idea what is going on in his head - he could be totally FOS. I don't think he's an insincere guy, but I do think he is confused and in a very selfish place right now, so he could be changing his mind every hour. I find this is one of the most difficult parts of DBing . . . not knowing what he is thinking and not asking. (Though there are probably plenty of times I don't want to know.) I have to keep reminding myself that we are in a much better place than we were 5 weeks ago, and that he's not going to give me any more than that right now.
I agree about not faking being happy when he moves. Honestly, I don't even think I could. I have made it pretty clear that I am not happy about any of this, so it won't be a surprise for him that I am upset. However, I will make sure not to be too pathetic about it - I can save that for when he is gone and I am alone. I do think in some ways it will be easier to 180, because it won't be a constant struggle to push down my feelings - but then again, I find that having him around and 180ing helps give me a focus. I guess we'll see.
One dilemma about the kids. When we presented this to them, we said that we are going to live separately for a while. They asked how long. H said six months. (That is the term of his lease.) The kids calculated the time and are now counting on him coming back on May 1. My son (7) put it in his calendar. They are sad that it is so long, but they very clearly think that he is coming back on May 1. He has done nothing to disabuse them of this notion. I have no idea WTF he is thinking. (I mean, truly, I don't. I don't bring it up, and he sometimes will say something but I don't even know what of that to believe.) I don't want to ask. But I don't want my kids to be devastated either. Not sure how to handle this, or just let him handle it and butt out.
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
