Ambivalent, I'm very glad to see you are slowly winding down from your spin. It takes time to find your footing once again. I'm glad my cyber friend's site was of help to you. She use to post here and she went through her own trial and tribulations...but her h is home now and I think things are going well for her now.
I think you are wise in waiting a while before you confront. At this point, none of us knows what is going on w/that scenario...so it's best to wait and see what else transpires, if anything. The holidays are coming and I know you would like to have a nice gathering for your family and it's wise to put this type of stuff aside until you are calmer and can figure out how you want to approach things. They always remind us that we need to be prepared for what we may hear. In some instances, it's nothing but chatter and in other instances what we are told hurts terribly, so you'll need to think about that.
My opinion is this, I wouldn't be happy w/my h dealing with an escort, prostitute or an ow. Quite frankly, there is no difference in the word affair for any of them if a sexual act is performed. Any of them can pass along the friend that keeps on giving and yes, it's a slap in the face to the spouse, no matter who they are. But that's my opinion.
For now, try to stay positive. Look at what he's done in the last few weeks. He's ensured that you've had heat, he's contacted the person to mow/rake leaves, he put gas in your vehicle, he's been happy to have you accompany him to the hunting site and to the butcher. Oh, in one last thing...he's been willing to tell you where he's going, etc. These, to me, are positives. Keep doing what works and leave the negatives at the door.
Ambivalent...keep the focus on you. Continue to do activities that make you happy and have a calming effect on you. The only person that you can control is yourself and how you deal w/his crisis and your environment.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
